It's been almost a year since I posted ANYthing!
Well, this is daunting. Where to start?...
Maybe it's sort of a chicken-shit thing to say, but I'm kind of glad it's taken me this long to write anything. The people who might have checked it once upon a time have probably all forgotten by now, and the people who may still see what's going on over in my little part of the world are 1) forgiving and 2) kind enough to allow me to do the rambling that I need to do.
Everything just seems so punctuated now with Facebook status updates, tweets (both of which I do, and how!) that it's signs and wonders how anyone feels listened-to or heard at all. Maybe we're all making up for it by having vivid inner lives. Or that's what I tell myself.
I'll be honest; my vivid inner life consists largely of colorful, sprawling fantasies in which my past mistakes are somehow made right. Not that I go back in time or anything (right? Because that would be NUTS!) but that all the loose ends I walked away from, all those burners that I left on somewhere find really complicated, intricate ways of resolving. And I know; this is really just a glorified way to hold on to the past and not have to deal with the present.
But dammit, I love my past. I have a great past. And maybe between a demanding full-time job, an infuriating graduate school career, and teaching a class, it's the one thing I feel like I still have a modicum of control over - the only part of my life that still feels like mine.
Or maybe I just miss my friend.
Don't worry; they won't all be this way.
