DIY Laundry Detergent

For this I used
1/2 c. Borax
1/2 c. washing soda
1 bar Ivory soap or maybe 1/2 bar Octagon Soap
essential oils

I grated the bar of soap (at the time I had Ivory, but now I have Octagon soap which according to this person will not only clean your filthy clothes, but will also break any spells that happen to be on you at the time! Swift!) with my food processor. Then, all I did was switch out the blades to blend the Borax and Washing Soda together. Yes, it's that simple.

Most people, even I, thought that this would either a) eat holes through my clothes or b) eat holes through my skin. It did neither. In fact, the wash came out just as soft as a goddamn lamb. Keeping in mind the acid/base yin and yang of laundry is a plus too. Lots of people add vinegar to the rinse cycle to balance out the alkaline of the detergent, but I really don't want to mess with the timing of this. Maybe I'll dabble in homemade fabric softeners (which are acidic) later.

The only problem is that even though I used Ivory (which has a caustically soothing smell) AND essential oils (sweet orange), the load of laundry I did didn't really come out smelling like a whole hell of a lot. I guess I'm the kind of person that needs the scent to validate the cleanliness. Next time I'll add more smell.

So, was it worth it? HELL YES, as far as I'm concerned. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to find washing soda anywhere, but it was at my grocery store, and it was CHEAP. If you can't find it, I suppose you could substitute baking soda or OxiClean. Borax is also CHEAP, but I had it around anyway, because I use that shit for everything. Seriously. And Ivory soap? CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP. I found it for a dollar per three pack. Take a lesson from the Joker: be a person of simple tastes.

It's not about money. It's about sending a message.