Hay, MMX, How U Doin?

First things first: two thousand ten. I don't care if you're bored by the end of saying it. And screw your linguistic continuity between "nineteen" and "twenty." Listen, if people cared so damn much, why didn't they cry about it in 2001? No one called it "twenty-aught-one" except for I will when I tell the youths of the future about the good old days when ye mee-maw was leaving cryptically-grafittoed pumpkins on the doorsteps of her poor, poor professors at Halloween-time. I digress, as I do love referring to my future self as ye mee-maw.

Back to the monologue at hand, I suppose everyone was still so proud of themselves over coming up with the very chic "Y2K" that they didn't even notice it turned into "Y2K+1" real fast. So, in Bear Country it's two thousand ten. Trust me; I'm a linguist.

Now that unpleasantness is out of the way, and I feel better.

Burlington found itself on the business end of the lake effect this past weekend. I think the final total was 33 inches, or as I now know it, "Dude, where's my car?" Rookie mistake: I left the snow on the car instead of being a good little worker ant and clearing it off. Thus, my car and I had a rough morning. Have no fear: I got the little snot running just in time to make it to work, where my first patient was crumpled up in a ball on the floor and my second looked like an unholy hybrid between Robert Goulet and John Waters. They do not cancel Monday on account of snow here.

I tell this story for a reason. In 2010, this bear is dead set on diversifying, and along with her, she's bringing the Country. Because all sitting around on your dump watching the snow fall gets you is a dead car. And even if at the end of the road, nothing is waiting for you but pain and a room that smells like 'Lectric Shave, you gotta get up and dust it off, man.

Among the more exciting stars to which Bear Country intends on hitching her wagon is the deadly charming Jack Will Travel, two self-described "knuckleheads from suburban New Jersey" who specialize in jetsetting on the cheap, outing the secrets thereof, and all-around fast-talkitude. What's not to love?

And then there's AppyLove, just a-shinin' away in a part of the country that I left not too long ago. What can I say? The girl can pull the homesick out of Kari like feeding the five thousand with two loaves and some fishes, and I was beyond honored when she asked me maybe just maybe to write a guest column for her blog. Not to mention to lay down some vocal tracks with their band Count This Penny. Am I a lucky punk? Yep, I sure am.

Of course, there will be more out of me as well - plenty of life lessons and rookie mistakes to go around, adventures in living below the poverty line in Vermont, being a diplomat of the South, grad student follies, ESLarity, cooking, cleaning, creating, and you stopped listening at the beginning of this paragraph didn't you? It's alright. Bear Country waits for no man.

And if you've been good (and I know you have been), maybe I'll tell you the story about the time we went to the Vermont Cat Fanciers Cat Show...